Days With You

This is the video for the song for one of the titles I used for the Tales from the Tomato Patch stories I wrote (one of the ones way back over the summer, not the more recent ones). Anyway, it's a fitting way to end the current year (Plus, Catherine and I are in it a couple of times--we were at the show it was filmed at--in the background, mostly shadowed, in the second half of the video. If you spot us, leave the time marks in the comments.)

Tales From the Tomato Patch #11

We made it! The final story in the Tales From the Tomato Patch series. I had a lot of fun writing these (even though I didn't get a 1,111 word story in the mix like I had planned), and I hope you've had fun reading them. I'm also glad I got to finish them before the year let out. I had a lot of plans this year, and many of them didn't come to fruition, but more on that in my New Year's post tomorrow.

As for the Tales, well, I may well write more of them as Jason releases more albums. So this may not be the final tomato, er, word.

That's the future, for now here's story number eleven, enjoy:

“Almost Time”

I looked for you. There was only the bottle of coins.

Story title from the Jason Webley Quartet’s album The Cost of Living, 2007


Tales From the Tomato Patch #11: The Cost of Living by Christian Berntsen is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.

Tales From the Tomato Patch #10

Story number ten:

“There Is No Number 11”

“…stop all this ridiculous talk about an exit 11, there is no number eleven,” the woman sounded exasperated. “It’s not on the map.” They passed exit 13.

The man drove on in silence for several moments. Exit 12 came and went. Clouds gathered overhead, fog rolled in, making it twilight at 2 pm.

“That’s what he told me.”

“Well, he’s an idiot,” she replied.

After a mile he shouted, “Explain that!” Exit 11 loomed in the glow of the headlights.

“I don’t understand. It’s not on the map…”

Before she could protest, he turned toward it.

“What if he’s wrong?” She said.

“What if he’s right?” He answered, as they disappeared.

Story title from Jason Webley’s and Andru Bemis’ collaborative album How Big is Tacoma, 2006


Tales From the Tomato Patch #10: How Big is Tacoma by Christian Berntsen is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.

Tales From the Tomato Patch #9

Story number nine:

“Goodnight Evelyn”

She was beautiful in her bed, still in the moonlight like a porcelain doll or a statue, with the sheet tucked beneath her chin.

He had traveled through time, space and the myriad dimensions to find her. An entire species of sentient avians was lost in his search, a planet cracked and spread like dust in the cosmos. One dimension was swallowed up by a demon with six heads and eleventy million eyes as payment for her location.

It was all so he could see her again.

And here she lay, breath shallow, eyes restless under their lids, he had only this to say:

“Goodnight, Evelyn,” he whispered. “Daddy loves you.”

Story title from the Evelyn Evelyn album produced by Jason Webley and Amanda Palmer: Elephant Elephant, 2007


Tales From the Tomato Patch #9: Goodnight Evelyn by Christian Berntsen is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.

Tales From the Tomato Patch #8

Story number eight:

“August Closing His Mouth After a Long Summer’s Yawn”

Yuri walked unnoticed among people. This would seem surprising given that he was a large man who sweated profusely even in the cool night air, a handkerchief always dabbing at his forehead.

Yuri was used to the lack of attention, as if he were a tree or a bench or an ill dog in the street, they grazed his body as they passed but didn’t look. He felt the press and sting of their presence.

Yuri rarely had fun, only sometimes in the early morning hours before the world woke up. In quiet moments while the birds flew and the sun rose. Then the air was warm and dry and breathable.

Story title from Jason Webley’s album Viaje, 1998


Tales From the Tomato Patch #8: August Closing His Mouth After a Long Summer’s Yawn by Christian Berntsen is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.

Tales From the Tomato Patch #7

Story number seven:

“Quite Contrary”

The ladybird alighted on the branch above the spider’s web, her hindwings folding under their red and black shard. She stared at her fellow predator, asleep in the center, surrounded by the mummified corpses of recent meals.

She sighed.

“Why are you sad, little ladybird?” The spider asked, waking up.

“I wish,” the ladybird replied, “that I could make such an elegant home as you to trap my prey.”

“Ah,” the spider said, his eight eyes shone. “But I can share mine with you, and a meal as well.”

“Really?” The ladybird rushed onto the strands with joy.

It wasn’t until her second leg stuck she realized what the spider meant.

Story title from Jason Webley’s album Counterpoint, 2002




Tales From the Tomato Patch #7: Quite Contrary by Christian Berntsen is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.

Tales of Pending Rejection: Time Traveling

Hey Gang,

Forgot to update this with all of the holiday madness, but I had another acceptance recently. There's a cool little e-zine out there called 50 to 1, they publish 50 word stories and first lines (ostensibly of longer works, basically what they want is something intriguing that makes you wonder what the story is).

I submitted two 50 word stories and two first lines, and they accepted one of the first lines! Whoop!

You can find my entry to the most recent issue here, but check out the other pieces, it's cool what you can do with only a few words.